Just kidding. None of the above happened. It just happened in my head- but was caused by spending 2 straight weeks in nearly constant company with each other. He's off to spend his "free money" from the casino and me and the Liza-girl get a little quiet time.
This quiet time means no t.v., no video games, no sand fleas biting at my ankles, a fully charged (without the fear of blowing a fuse) iPod touch with books on it, a wireless internet connection, a clean dog and clean sheets in the dryer kind of quiet time. A catch up on the favorite blogs quiet time. A "HOLY CRAP WE HAVE GREEN TOMATOES" quiet time. An "oh lookie the bunnies ate the strawberries we never saw" quiet time. A pet the cat who survived another two week vacation quiet time. And an "oh man it's too quiet without those awesome kids and their awesome mama" quiet time. Especially when I realize that the mama doesn't get the kind of quiet time I'm having right now.
How's the dog, you ask? EXHAUSTED. The kind of exhausted where the red in her lower eyelids appears and she can barely keep her eyes open even when I'm eating pizza. She wants that last bit of crust that I always give her but by the time I get to it, she's asleep again.
But back to defensive driving. While I'm certain this behavior has saved my life on more than one occasion, there is a drawback. I realized today that every other driver is an enemy in my mind.
Not just a "mind your own business not bothering me enemy" but a "hey you pissant driver why are you so stupid" enemy.
Even when they do nothing wrong.
In fact as we were motoring down the road, I asked Mr. Sophanne to flip off a couple of harmless buses from Shandon Baptist Church. He refused- or else he could't hear me over the cashew-chewing. This "request a random flip off from your spouse" behavior is not me. I don't do these things in real life. It had to be a cumulative effect of too much defensive driving.
In a better world we will all be able to get where we want to go without the fear of running big heaps of metal into each other. I will continue to drive defensively for now and try not to be quite so defensive.
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Stay tuned for a blocked Brandywine (which will be promptly gifted to the daughter of the mr.) and pictures of green roma tomatoes.