Sunday, December 29, 2013

The Next Day

We did it. I had curled hair and makeup. He had a tux. In addition to walking me through the whole salon experience, BFFAmber brought accessories, hairspray and an appropriate coat. What a friend!


The shellacked nails


Curls from the back
The instagrammed makeup
The dashing escort.

I have to say that this summer's cruise did me a great service by improving my art of chitchat. One somewhat unfriendly face relaxed and smiled as soon as I said "what's your dog's name." And we ate hors d'oevres that were carried around on trays by waitstaff. Now that's classy.


Friday, December 27, 2013

The Results Show.

Regarding the last post, the fake apple dumpling recipe was a win. HusbandBob requested it for a gathering the next day and it was eaten with gusto.

The icecream cake was so so. It would have been easier and tastier to just eat a box of Klondike ice cream sandwiches.

Not pictured was a "meatball hoagie casserole." First layer was Italian bread, second layer was a mayo/cream cheese texture adding thing. This was followed by mozzarella, meatballs, sauce and more mozzarella. Again, plain old meatball hoagies would have been tastier and easier.

Also finished today was a pair of men's size 13 felted clogs. The high efficiency washing machine does not felt well. I ended up boiling them in a big pot. This is his third pair. The first pair was done in an older washing machine. They were perfect. The second pair never really reduced in size so he put them over the first pair. I am hoping these are winners because how often does one get to knit something the husband really likes?


In other exciting news, tomorrow we are going to a black tie optional birthday party for his cousin. It's at the Frick museum in Pittsburgh. He's rented the tux, I have a black gown and the squeeze your belly in garment. BFFAmber is taking me for the hair and nails trip in the morning because I wasn't going to go that route unless she came with me. It never ceases to amaze me, the things that I've never done that most people have that make me anxious.

I went to buy the accessories last Monday at a mall near Pittsburgh but still on my familiar roads. The power was out at said mall and there was nothing else left to do but DRIVE INTO PITTSBURGH BY MYSELF. I'm only telling you this now in case you missed it on the news last Monday. It was truly an historic occasion and now one less thing I am afraid of.

Pictures of the grand event to follow. (In case you're wondering, "why the hoopla" you should know that we got married at city hall in matching Carhart jeans so this is likely the first and last time for such costuming.)


Sunday, December 22, 2013

Pinterest Anyone?

First there's this: it's baking now.



Apples rolled in crescent roll dough with butter, sugar, cinnamon and vanilla. You add some Mt. Dew and bake it. With 2 sticks of butter, how can it be bad?


Then there's this: the first layer is Klondike bars, cool whip, caramel sundae topping, bananas and walnuts. The second layer is the same only chocolate sundae topping.



They call it ice cream cake. I think I will call it my boyfriend. When all the ingredients are your favorite and you can't mess it up by cooking it, what can go wrong?


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Just when I thought it couldn't be funnier

Here is what I said to the audience at the show. I said it slowly and with much intention.


Have you noticed? Your kids are excited. They are proud of themselves. It makes me happy to know that they can be excited about something that doesn't have to be charged or requires batteries. I have found that the one of the worst things we can do to children when they are excited and proud is ignore them. This is why I am asking you, please please, please if you need to have a conversation while someone is singing, go out into the hallway to do it. These proud and excited kids deserve our respect and attention and it hurts their feelings when we talk through their performance.

You could hear a pin drop for 95% of the performance. During the other 5%, audience members felt empowered to shush the offenders.

It. Was. Awesome. I am pretty certain that both my audiences (one in the morning and one in the afternoon) were the quietest elementary music program audiences on the planet. I also got to be proud of them.

Also adding to the joy of the day was this:

Awesome husband was there to watch it in action.


It wasn't all serious. Once I knew he was coming to the show I had this vision of him as elementary school program bouncer. As in "Hey you, shut the f up, that's my wife up there." After sharing this image with massage therapist, new BFF and mother of first grader,(BFFAmber from now on.) she said "yea, Bob and I could really bust some heads if we had to."

That led to me imagining this:


Which led to this horrible but hilarious selfie (which I realize is in reverse and I have too much smile to really be Harvey Keitel.)

And really, it's only because the whole concept is so hilarious that I even show you. Husband Bob using Geri-curl? Really?

And finally all of this leads to a weekend planned doing what I am inventing and calling Pulp Fiction Yoga where you act out the movie while it's playing with only the movement and no dialogue. I think we're onto something.


Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Then There's This

I finally jumped into Jared Flood's Rock Island shawl.  I thought it would be hard what with increasing and decreasing stitches on both RS and WS but with proper color coding, it's been completely manageable and definitely a lesson in blocking.

I bought this necklace at the Arts festival this summer.  I wore it today to keep me laughing as  I slither along into music teacher program mania.  If anyone asked, I said it was my sister and I in childhood.  She's the one sticking her tongue out.

And finally, I can't believe I've never written about this before.  It's really the absolute best part of my job whenever it happens.

I'm going to assume that most of you know the song Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.  I'm also going to assume that, unlike my aunt or my husband, you also know the little echo parts.

Used to laugh and call him names... like Pinnochio

Join in any Reindeer games.... like Monopoly.

Santa came to say... ho ho ho

You'll go down in history... like George Washington.

Very often, kindergarten students do not know the little echoing part.  It's a first grade/second grade thing.  If by chance (as is often the case ) kindergarten students haven't heard the additions and I get to be the one to sing them to them, it is the best thing in the entire universe.  They giggle and laugh and seriously crack up at what I'm doing to their song.  I think it must be the innocence in the room as they react.  It seems very real and very pure.  

When they get to second and third grade, inevitably I hear the one change that only older kids can  make with this line:

Santa came to say... in his underwear!  

I never heard that one as a child but when second and third graders sing it with a sparkle in their eyes, it cracks me up.   And I have to act all "this is inappropriate" like and they have to act all "look at what we got away with" like.  It's a laugh riot.

Finally, when you sing Jingle Bells with any grade, there is always always always a young man (or sometimes a girl with older siblings) seated on the side who is mouthing the words:

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg.  The batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away! 

What this kid in the back is not expecting the second time through is that I start singing that version and they all join in.  It's no longer the skeleton in the closet.  It's out in the open.

I did, however have one adorable first grade girl change the second half of that song to:

He blew his nose in cheerios and ate them anyway, hey!

We did not sing that version.  I had to draw the line somewhere.