Stuff- Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things Randy Frost
and while I'm feeling pretty good about the fact that I'm not a compulsive hoarder, I do live a more cluttered life than some and there were many points in the read which resonated with me.
One of the clients in the study says If I put my clothes in the drawers, I won't be able to see them and I'll forget I have them. The author expounds This dependence on the visual connection with objects is a common trait among hoarders.
This is Reason Number One that my life is so cluttered. It's especially true of clothes. I regularly leave my clean clothes stacked on the dryer rather than put them away. In this case, laziness is not the issue. Mr. Sophanne's clothes are regularly washed, dried and put away. If the clothes in whatever cycle I'm wearing are out in the laundry room, I know their status. When they go in the closet, they disappear.
It's also true of yarn and books. I want to see what I have. What I've noticed lately is that in spite of being in full sight, these items, once grouped together become and organic whole rather than individual items. Do I really think I have to remember everything I have? Do I really need to? Given the latest duplicate book buying episode, I'm thinking, YES! but is that realistic?
Another point made by the author is ...that possessions allow the owner to do or accomplish something.
I've got a nice collection of art supplies- water color paper, brushes, paints, gesso, the works. These, along with various other art supplies take up a 2-drawer filing cabinet in my stash room. They were purchased after a great workshop at the Andy Warhol Museum. I used them that summer and have gotten them out once or twice since. I've created a couple of things that I love by accident. Mostly for the past 5 years since then they sit in the drawer representing unlimited potential and me as an "artist." One of the reasons people hoard is based on the potential of objects. There is a lot of potential in my room.
It was suggested in the book that maybe hoarding is creativity run amok. You can see so many possibilities in the yarn, in the small boxes, in the ribbon, paper, colors. It's overwhelming. This I believe is profound. I have used the Saturday Night Live skit from the 90's with the tag line That's another one of those things I'm never going to do as a personal mantra at flea markets.
Another idea from the book one young girl believed that her toys would die or feel betrayed if given away or discarded and anthropomorphizing-ascribing feelings to an inanimate object is not uncommon among hoarders
When I was around 9 I had a bed full of stuffed animals. I think at the time I believed I was being philanthropic by giving all but a few of them away. What I believe now, looking back, was that I felt badly that I liked some better than others and felt the need to give the others "better homes." One example in the book was of a woman who felt badly for the yogurt container in the garbage- that maybe she should have washed it out to make it more comfortable. Thankfully, I'm not there yet.
Then there's the "magical thinking." As in "I wore this when I was young and beautiful and happy- I must keep it so that I can have that feeling again." I go through a sine wave of this experience- keeping these things until there are more things in my closet that I can't wear than things that I can.
The book only lightly touched on the accumulation of digital data- I won't really go there but will only say that I do have an external hardrive of 100G that is 80% full. Last month I seriously considered purchasing a second external hard drive to back up the first one. This is thanks to a perpetual fear of loss.
It was an interesting read- I may be able to throw out some professional magazines and clarinet music from college that I'll never use again.... or maybe not.
The main deliniation as to whether collecting and keeping is hoarding or not is determined by quality of life. As I do not yet have "goat paths" that I must negotiate through my stuff, I'm feeling pretty secure. I can also throw things away with relative ease. But I do believe I'll keep an eye on things, for the line between creativity and madness is surely a fine one.
4 comments:
I think I'm a little bit scared to read that book.
The goat path test is wise. I would add to it the ability to throw out garbage. If you can't get the garbage out of your house I think there is trouble.
p.s. I gave you an award for your new design.
I find that freecycle is a great way to give new life to things I won't use; seeing the actual person who is going to get the item, and their pleasure in it, makes it much easier to let go.
That was a very interesting post! I feel a need to think about getting rid of some things. Doing it - might take a while. With me, laziness is always a factor, alas.
I have certain 'hotspots'. Fo exampe, I like boxes and containers. cute little ones. I don't actually put anything IN most of them. I jsut like them. But periodically I go through them and get rid of the ones that don't do it for me anymore. so that I'll have room for new ones.
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