The yarn, the yarn, the yarn...

The cashmere is missing. Was it abducted? Will there be a ransom note? I’m sure the metal knitting needles are involved somehow but they continue to proclaim their innocence. The first skein, now in the form of a partially finished cabled sock, weeps silently for it’s missing partner.

Remnants of pre-patterned sock yarns are conspiring to take over the new circulars in the form of a hideous lace shawl - apologies to the visual thinkers for such a startling image.

The acrylic and novelty yarns yearn to break away from common stereotypes to create a free-form knitting piece. Fearing ridicule, they grieve silently at the futility of their dreams. When questioned, they simply state, “We’re having trouble breathing.”

The skeins of sock yarn eagerly anticipating their fruition grow restless. If not used, they will tangle in protest.

No one has seen the LionBrand Homespun since it was placed in a Hefty Cinch-sak

And then there’s the single moth caught carelessly flitting out of the 4-ply wool. Will the stash test positive for moths? Will further procedures be required? What extremes will be necessary to relieve the community of this threat?

I once scoffed at the idea of the stash having a life of it’s own. Knowledge of these clandestine dramas now leads me to believe otherwise. Surely stash-life can be simpler than this. Popping the bubble that is the soap opera of these fibers would completely destroy any semblance of the reality to which they cling. What to do? Without intervention the stash will continue down the slippery slope of deluded self-importance. Only the Japanese Noro appears calm and relaxed. Surely the fact that it’s “Knitting For Peace” has helped but one can only wonder how taking the form of a “postal bag” will change it.

I tell you these secrets because you need to know.