knit night and the day after

I was always horrible at science.  Sometimes I have dreams where I take a university organic chemistry test and get an A+ and walk around showing everyone that "I could do it after all."

I prefer to get any science with a dose of laugh which is why knitnight is so great.  KnitnightGina is a lab person in a blood place. (pretty fancy title, eh- I'm sure she's called something different but that's as much as I can come up with.)  Her daughter, knitnightJustine is in medical school.  She's not a resident or an intern but she goes to a hospital every day which leaves her somewhere between anatomy class and doctorville.  Last night I learned about the factor cascade of coagulation, platelets and plasma.  And in a very small way, I get it and am amazed that we all have bodies and that they work so well.

The Day After.

Today Mr. Sophanne said "Let's go out to dinner."   Because we live in ruralville, the only within 10 mile option was a place that rhymes with Mob Revans.

We learned some interesting things.  The soup container that they put on your table is to encourage you to buy soup. (no surprise there)  The waitstaff has a "soup quota" they have to make each shift.  If they fail more than once to include the empty container on a patrons table, they are suspended from work for three days.  There is also a 20% beverage quota that does not include water.

Our waitress shared this information with us freely mostly because Mr. Sophanne can get anyone to talk.  While we were eating he saw all wait staff pulled off the floor and into conference about the low soup numbers for the evening.

What the hell?  No wonder the service there is often so bad.  Everybody's worried about their carry out soup and soda numbers.  If you have customers you know aren't interested, it's time to move on to another potential soup buyer.  That's where the action is.

I might be wrong, but I'm guessing that the finer dining establishments that Mr. Sophanne and I have visited in big cities don't operate under such ridiculous premises.

When I worked for as a telephone operator for a company that rhymes with Spay Gee and Gee, they would insist that we ask people if they wanted to upgrade to person to person rather than just collect calls.  The interaction (given the area where I worked) often went like this:

Them:  I'd like to make a collect call to Sam.
Me:  Would you like to make that person to person?
Them:  What does that mean?
Me:  That means that you don't pay for the call unless you get the person you are trying to reach.
Them:  Why sure!  That sounds great.  Make it person to person to Sam.
Me:  There will be an extra charge for that service.
Them What?
Me:  It costs more to make a person to person call than just a collect call.
Them:  Well what do I want that for then.  (and occasionally something along the lines of you $%#@#$# people!)

The waitress at Tob Blevens had a funny and relaxed attitude about it.  She made us laugh on and off throughout the meal.  When she brought the check I had my plan ready.  I handed her a pile of $$ and said, "First of all, this is your tip."  Then I handed her another pile of money and said "Second of all, this pile is for some soup.  We don't really want any soup.  I just want you to sell some and maybe give it to your manager from us."

Doing the math while leaving, Mr. Sophanne said "You essentially just left a 50% tip," to which I replied, "It was worth every penny."

Oh Where, Oh Where

has this blogger been?  Oh where oh where can she be?

Well, if you must know...

Things I have been doing while not blogging.

1) once again rearranging the yarn room.  We are down to 4 bookshelves and enough room to put the piano in here as well.  Sadly, while I measured the potential piano space, I did not measure the path the piano would have to travel and now there is a big empty spot.  I am plotting and scheming plans to remedy this but will not reveal until its a done deal.

2) playing the ukulele.  I bought a new one last month.  It doesn't slide out of tune so quickly which has made playing rather pleasant.  That I have been playing it when I could be knitting suggests that it will join the list of acceptable hobbies.

3) knitting... I have nothing to show for said knitting, as I've been working on miles and miles of Elsebeth Lavold Log Cabin Moderne.  It would seem that I have committed to this project (unlike so many others) and in spite of the endless garter stitch, I will forge on.

but what about the funny?

Trust me when I say that if I had some funny, this would be one of the first places I'd share it.

I do have a piece of knitterly/driving advice to share.

If you happen to knit a malabrigo balaclava, and you happen to wear it on the -4 degree drive to school, be sure to take it off if your eyelids start to get droopy because it is so cozy.  I managed to do this in time, but I may have found a cure for insomnia!  (at least if you have it at -4 degrees while driving.)

Knubblechen on Couch

Do you remember when knitnightMarc crocheted this couch kleenex box cover?

Whilst on Ravelry I found this pattern for knubblechen

And now knitnightMarc's couch has a permanent resident.

This is the best best best pattern for leftover sock yarn.  No huge ass blanket that will never get finished that is every color imaginable.  The possibilities are endless.  Go look at them, you know you want to!

It never fails...

The Scorpion and the Frog
from the website Aesop's Fables




A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the

scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The

frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion

says, "Because if I do, I will die too."



The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,

the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of

paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,

but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"



Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."


No matter how many times I am "stung by the scorpion," it never fails to surprise me when it happens again.

Hot Heads

First, some non-knitted hot heads.  Just before the big vacation and the snow started coming, Mr. Sophanne and I had the pleasure of playing with da brudders at the local mall.  While we are not fans of the local mall 2 weeks before Christmas, there is an indoor play area. Woot.

Here I am with two of the 3 brudders- getting all three in one picture facing the camera is next to impossible.  This is as good as it gets.  Mr. Sophanne picked up these reindeer lids at the local Claire's and you can imagine the sight we were to behold with 2 twins and older brudder on our way to see Santa Claus.  As a side note, isn't it always the case that the man disappears from activities and returns with surprises such as these?

The next hot head comes in the adorable form of Mr. Sophanne's granddaughter who happens to be with all of her cousins in Paris.  Note last year's Christmas hat on her head.  That hat has likely seen more of Europe than I have. I am so proud.

All scarves seen (and not seen in this picture) were knitted by her mama- who took this summer's knitting lessons to heart and knit no less than 10 scarves in 3 months.  Socks are next for that girl!  Again, I am so proud.

Hot Head the Next:  CousinofSophanne has a birthday coming up and wears a purple coat.  Enter Charlene Schurch's Hat's On and the standard stockinette with ribbing thing.  The colors match her coat perfectly and it was yet more destashing.

Hot head the most- Knitnightmarc made a balaclava that I accidentally stumbled upon on Ravelry this week.  They kind of creep me out.

And yet with the recent shoveling of snow I've been obligated to do, I began to see the advantage of such head gear.  Enter this pattern called "from Russia with Love.

The cables and lighter color make it look less criminal (I'm guessing that few criminals or ninjas are sporting  malabrigo balaclavas)  but alas, it is not as finished as I had hoped.  The proclaimed advantage to a balaclava is the fact that it can be worn as a hat, a cowl or a full on ski mask thingie.  Note to self.  When it says "bind off loosely, just bite the bullet and do a sewn bind off.    The business around the eyes, while lovely is nothing less than form fitting and will not stretch over my head.

Hopefully I can solve this before the "G" storm arrives!

The magic of my knit night friends.

KnitnightTara's homemade Christmas card from last year.



KnitnightMarc's homemade Christmas card from this year.  Why yes, it's and embroidered ornament done on "go away paper" or whatever it's called.  And sewing machine on paper.  Crazy amazing.

This is the envelope for KnitniteTara's 2012 card-




This is the front.  She doesn't take full credit because she purchased a laser paper cutter this year.  I would be taking full credit.  That laser paper cutter doesn't design and cut alone.



















Open up and turn the card and then there is this:

So much glitter, so much glue, so much thread, so much talent.  Next year I'm tempted to join the "card making club" just because by seeing my anti-handiwork, the creators of this magic will be even more grateful for their own skills.

To wrangle and continue.

As was all of the world, I was devastated on December 14.  Unstoppable crying for 5 days.  A day and a half of school missed.  The following things did not make it much easier, but it helped.

When I finally returned to school and taught students, I realized that every child I see is really "one of those babies."  Only they are here.  And alive.  It is my job to cherish them for all that is sacred and magical in them- just as I am grieving the loss to the world of all that was sacred and magical in those innocent victims.  I hope that for the rest of my life I am able to pause with that perspective always.

I spent last week reading the book Columbine by Dave Cullen.  We are all still striving to understand Newtown.  We won't be able to.  Columbine is a work that Dave Cullen took 10 years to write as he (appropriately enough) "culled" all of the information from other books that were written, police interviews, the journals of the perpetrators,  etc., etc.  All that was available.

 What I got from that is that we can not find reason in insanity. I realize that I do not need to know who or why this most recent shooter was.  He is scarily similar to those who have gone before him and until we find a better way to identify and treat sociopaths (and I use that term clinically- those without the capacity to feel empathy), there will be tragedies both large and small.

I have opinions on mental health but they are not informed.  I have opinions on guns but they are not informed. Although the headline Studies show that countries that have more guns have more shootings sort of cuts through any confusion for me.

I find it ironic that those who so heartily support second amendment rights permitting gun ownership ignore and dispute the fact that our country's creation was based on the separation of church and state.

It has been hard to watch the earth continue to spin.  But it is all anyone can do.

The shared pain and remnants of fear wash over us all like a giant tsunami.  There is no relief, only wave after wave.  I am holding everyone in my heart.

Random Random

It is what it says. Random.

For your continued Zombie Nutcracker amusement- rather than the traditional Santa's shop for kids to buy junk for themselves their parents, our PTO chose to buy a craft of some sort to make and gift for the holidays. Ironically enough, the 5th grade students received wooden nutcrackers to decorate. They've mostly all already seen the google image page of zombie nutcrackers. I may have some 'splainin' to do. Oy.

Epic Mickey 2. New game for Mr. Sophanne. He defeated the first monster, went back to add "player 2" and erased all progress. I mention this not because it matters a whole lot to me but because of the effect Epic Mickey has had on my life.

In the game, you paint things blue to fix them and paint things green (paint thinner) to make them disappear. Mr. Sophanne continues to buy ice cream drumsticks. I continue to search for ways to avoid them. This evening when he asked me if I wanted one, I said no and then imagined as he ate his, that I was making it disappear with paint thinner.

News on something I hate the most. Self righteous and mildly proselytizing Christians in my general circle of life who regularly behave contrary to the Golden Rule. There was one today who snapped like a firecracker at me. As a rule, I am not someone who gets snapped at often. In fact, more than once I've been complimented for my ability to facilitate calm and level-headedness. When snapping happens, I take umbrage and while I know I need to let it go, it's much harder when the snapee takes such pride in being a good person. And now feel better for being able to "tell on her" on the blog.

Finally, I finished the Vertigo vest at knight night and the awesome Gina took probably the best picture I'll manage to get. Sometimes I am so lazy. I am pleased with the results. It will get blocked this weekend. I am hoping that someday the weather outside and in my building will allow me to wear it more than from the house to the car in the morning.

Another episode of life inside my brain.

Every year in December the k-2er's listen to, act out portions of, and watch George Ballanchine's New York City Ballet's version of The Nutcracker. Nothing unusual there in music teacher world.

Today a pile of 2nd graders were particularly lethargic in their reenactment of the opening party scene. I suggested that they looked like zombies.

And then, I couldn't stop myself from playing "what if." Out loud. What if the ballet were made of all zombies. What if instead of the little brother breaking the nutcracker's head, just ripped the little zombie sister's head off. And then, when Dad goes to scold him, little brother pulls Dad's arm off.

Oh the laughter. Oh the inappropriateness. Oh the hilarity. As you may suspect, 2nd graders love me.

And then, just now, in case it was a been there done that sort of idea, I googled "zombie nutcracker" and got a page like this-

Bwah ha ha ha!

Blerg

That's the only word I can think of to describe my inability to read directions.

I spent all day today working on the top front panels to finish that vest.

At about 5:30 p.m., reality paid a visit and I snapped into realizing both were all kinds of wrong.

I think I leave the comfort of socks, hats and lace just so I can laugh at myself.

Size 8 Needles, an outburst, and some sad

Size 8 needles knit items much more quickly than size 3.  The beautiful Kathy Zimmerman cable sweater is slogging along.  Slogging mostly because I can concentrate for approximately 2 rows of cabling before I know I have to stop.

That I might have something to turn to, I matched stash with pattern and found Vertigo in some malabrigo  in the colors dusty rose and pearl ten.  Pearl ten? It must be secret code for "matches dusty rose in a cool way."  As always with wintertime pictures, colors appear less vibrant than in real life.  Some of the colorwork is a little bunchy- if blocking doesn't fix it, I really will rip and reknit.  I like this vest that much.  Does this really make 3 knitting posts in a row?

Confidentiality prohibits me from going into detail but let me just say that my Monday morning after a week of vacation began with a student banging limbs on thunderously resonating metal bookshelves and cabinets screaming (not at me) 

"YOU ARE THE DEVIL YOU G-D D-MN M-TH-R F-CK-NG WH-R-!!!!!!"

One would think that would be a terrible way to start the week and, in fact, it sort of was.  BUT, after that first thing on a Monday morning, no matter what happens the rest of the week, it's a good week.

What makes me sadder than sad is that I can't share the story with my blog friend Nicole Stanger McMaster at Throwslikeagirl.  Nicole lost her battle with breast cancer this week after an aggressive form of mets popped up seemingly out of nowhere and took her from this planet entirely too soon.  

I found her knitting blog and later found out we shared professions as well.  It's pretty strange and horrible to lose an internet friend.  While playing with internets friends, you feel so connected and yet when you grieve, no one in your physical space (only fellow ethereal bloggers) really understands the extent and significance of the loss- and there is the fear that expressing too much sorrow to and for family members makes you seem kind of creepy.

So, HEY NICOLE out there in Spiritual Internet World, I'm glad I got to know you.  I'm glad you're no longer in pain, and I'm sad that you're no longer here.  

And that my friends, with tears in my eyes,  is all a memorial can really say. 

c'est finis

MountainMama is going to get someone she knows who sews to line these.  There are so many mistakes and small oopsies, that I don't even want to think about it.  These definitely fall into the HANDMADE category and I'm not sure that they're as built to last as the actual John Deere tractors,  but it will do for a few years.  Fortunately, they look pretty good from a distance.  Fortunately they are for little boys with small hands that can actually fit inside the top.

What else I did over Thanksgiving Break.

They need a little finishing at the top  but right now they're blocking with plastic bags.  To this I say, Dear Intarsia, we are getting a divorce.  Love Sophanne.

Heading to Aunt of Sophanne's for some Bob Evan's pre-prepared meals, Yahtzee, and if cousin has her way, Monopoly!

Wherein I have a new friend and we had an adventure.

It never ceases to amaze me when that happens.  This new friend wants to learn to knit better, taught at nearly all of the same schools I have in my career (just a year or two ahead of me), shares my political inclinations (unlike many in my surrounding area) and laughs a lot and sometimes laughs at inappropriate things.  She has more driving phobias than I and so today we had an adventure.  In the "things always happen for a reason" category, I met her at one of the new schools I have this year.

We picked up the "T"  about where knit night meets and rode it all the way to the North Side of Pittsburgh. We saw this sign when we disembarked.  Not sure  about what "area of refuge" really means but there was one there in case we needed it.

When we left the station, we saw this.  And, as it turns out we were in the same parking garage that Mr. Sophanne and I parked in when we went to a Pirates game this summer.  No traffic for us today though.  The Light Rail did all the work.  (note the green T sign.  I love the T)

After walking a mile we found our way here:

The National Aviary.   It should have been a half mile walk but one has to expect some misdirection in life.

Once inside, we saw some birds.  These two birds remind me of the story of Ulysess visiting Circes Palace and a bird warning him of danger ahead.  

These two were just adorable and photogenic.

We signed up for a Pirates of the Caribbean Parrot show but somehow got locked out of showtime and they don't let latecomers in.  I was thrown off for a good 15 minutes or so.  I was a little surprised at how attached I had become to the idea of seeing that show.

The flamingos are always fascinating as were the penguins.  The penguins begged to be anthropomorphized and I had a most excellent voice and dialogue going on for them.  (think Henri le chat noir except more of an Art Carney kind of voice)  It was perhaps that activity that distracted me from noticing that it was in fact show time.

Back on the T to the Wood St. exit where we found a place called Ewe Can Knit.  I was suspicious when the only reference on the web to them was their facebook page.  It was a pen and stationery store that had yarn on the second floor as an afterthought.  There was some yarn that could have been purchased but it seemed like it was there mostly for decoration.  

The thing is, I have always wanted to have this adventure and feel comfortable doing it.  I plan it in my head every summer and wonder why, at the end of the summer, I haven't done it.  And I realized that you don't hear of many solo adventurers.  Usually they at least travel in pairs.  And really, I can count on one hand the number of people who have the time, energy and desire to have the same kind of adventures I like to have so today was a lucky lucky day.

The Awesomeness of Tara v. 8.2

By now you know that knitnightTara is amazing.  If you need a refresher, you can look here and here.


It's time for yet another episode in the series The Awesomeness of Tara.

She knit these lovelies for someone to take to  a "redneck" baby shower.  Camo sweater, bright orange buttons, and cowboy boot booties.  What you can't see is that the booties are fleece lined.

The person she made them for has offered payment and she doesn't know what to charge.  I have offered to be the financial consultant of All that is Tara and said $50- she thought that was high- she has $15 in materials.  I'm saying you'd pay AT LEAST THAT for the cuteness of the boots alone in a high end store and these are better made.

And yet, while these are amazing and adorable, they do not properly give tribute to awesome.  This evening instead of knitting, she was putting together her homemade Christmas card list.  You may remember the knitting penguin from last year.  She was talking about people that she has no real work/family/knitting relationship with that she regularly sends them to and I said "You could send one to Aunt of Sophanne"- knowing the meticulous time and care that go into these cards I was mostly just joking- kiddingly adding names to her list where none were needed- also knowing that they've never met.

She then pulled out the list, passed it to me and said "She's already on there."

That. Girl.  She is something else.

The Impish Little Trickster Knitting Fairy

is hired by the knitting goddess to do her dirty work.  Her magic powers include promoting self doubt and suspect vision among knitters.

Case in point:

This is about 43 rows of the back of Kathy Zimmerman's Welcome Back, Friend Sweater.  It's about six inches long right now.

Case in point.

Sunday Morning I had 41 rows.  Sunday evening I had 43 rows.  Monday afternoon I had 47 rows.  Early Monday evening I had 41 rows and now there are once again 43.

The way to avoid the impish little trickster knitting fairy is to CLEARLY mark where you are in the pattern when you stop knitting.   On Monday evening I believed that I had started knitting in the wrong place and tinked 6 rows (WITH CABLES and using a cable needle to uncable).

When I began to start what I thought was the correct place, I realized that the tinked rows were actually correct and previous tinking was an unnecessary.

The bonus is that I love Louet Gems Sportweight.  I also love the chia goo goo(something like that) needles which are as delightful as addi turbo lace at half the price.  I've learned my lesson with over purchasing and managed not to order some more immediately because I love it and more has to be better. At least I've learned that lesson for today.

What I wanted to ask my neighbors but didn't.

When I came home this evening the neighbor kids were burning leaves that were next to a tree and under a tire swing. One cherub was swinging over the fire as the others fanned the flames.


Did I miss the sale at the stupid store? And by that I mean the store that SELLS stupid!

Happy Birfday!

It's been 5 happy years since we've had the Liza girl.  We both are a little bigger and a little happier. (except I think she's sticking her tongue out at me in picture number 2)

Barely Knitting? Knitting a Bear.

One of the yarns that came home with me at the knit night trick or treatwas some bulky Tahki Primary Baby- from Knitnight Marc

Knitnight Tara and Knitnight Alison were hoping for a unicorn.  I knew if I didn't jump in on it, I would forget what I was going to do and the yarn would marinate until the next swap.

He's pretty adorable.  I do get anxious assembling.  Watching Knitnight Gina do it the last time helped, I feel much better about his facial features.  His arms went on pretty well too.  It's the legs and the ears that aren't my favorite but when you get to that point, you just want him done. 

Name him anyone?