Friday, October 12, 2012

I wouldn't mind it if only...

the doctor would believe me and there was something I could do about it.

I've been having weird physical responses to the world lately.  The worst of which is a "just below the surface" itchy skin but also includes, sweating all day, hands trembling, dry mouth, brain fog that includes impeded ability to multitask, and more.

The general practitioner says "you're too young."  I say "hey buddy, just because I look so youthful and just because YOU'RE a man and older than me does NOT mean that I am too young.

If you wonder what might be causing such physical symptoms, you need only to go here.

All of this stuff is on the "it's personal, you don't share that shit with people" side of life but that boat's done sailed and I'm glad for it because I could really use some psychological support here.

I know many of you women blog friends are older and wiser than I- or have mothers who are older and wiser.  If you'd care to share what you know of the experience and how you managed or didn't manage in the comments, maybe someone will be directed here and feel comfort and compassion.

It's hard to write clever posts when your skin is crawling, which mine has been for the last month.  There was some temporary relief with prednisone (alas it had issues of its own) but as soon as I was done, the skin crawling began again.

As for the brain fog and multitasking, I take comfort that while I was once brilliant at that, I am now within the standard deviation which likely makes a lot of the people around me who think slower than I do most content.

Next month I will be 47.

In other news, the tickets are purchased and tomorrow night we go to the Pittsburgh Symphony.  While I am incredibly happy to be hearing Mozart's Requiem performed live, today I am primarily concerned with sitting still through the itchies and not having emotional overload as a result of the beauty of it.

If ever you knew something and were thinking about commenting and sharing what you know, today would be a great day to do it-

thanks.

8 comments:

Janet said...

Oh, Sophanne -- I am sorry for your agony. I remember it well. You are suffering from perimenopause and you are not too young. Menopause is when you have gone 12 months without a period. Menopause, by the time it comes, is a joy. Perimenopause sucks, and it can suck for a really long time. I had bloating, headaches, hot flashes, no sleep, 'irregular' periods (my record was 47 days of heavy bleeding) -- I wanted to cry, scream, crawl in a dark hole -- I spent half my time making everyone around me miserable and the other half apologizing. I too was a life-long master of multi-tasking and when I lost that ability I felt like I would never accomplish anything again. I've always been a list maker but I learned to make lists just to get through the simplest of daily tasks. Try really hard to finish one thing before moving to the next - there is great satisfaction in crossing things off that list. If one task seems daunting than break your list into smaller tasks - if you need to go grocery shopping than make a list : menus, check ingredients for meals, make a list, gather coupons, go to store ... You don't need to do it all at once and you get to cross out that many more things. SLOW DOWN -- take your time doing each thing or you will simply become frantic (I'm not sure I was ever really successful at this but it's worth it if you can). Get yourself a good OBGYN, preferably a woman -- you'll be spending a lot of time with her so do some research. I tried hormone therapy but it made me crazier. For me headaches were the worse so I got anti-depressants and they helped (tho it took awhile to find the right dosage). I worked with a lot of women my age so we were going thru the same thing at the same time -- mutual empathy and sharing helps. There is a light at the end of this tunnel but it can last for a long time and as soon as you get some relief you'll have another symptom take its place. Please feel free to send me email if you want -- I am happy to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on.

Deb said...

I'm also an early bloomer.

If the prednisone helps the itchies, then it might be allergy related. You could try some of the OTC antihistimes. I like Allegra (not affiliated, it just works best for me. Try switching soaps. I had to switch to a heavy moisturizing soap. It's helped some.

There's no harm in getting extra sleep, or making lists to help remember. I tell people that my brain is full and I only remember the important stuff.

Most important, forgive yourself. You're human and female. This is part of it.

Those you love will deal with it and if you're having a really bad day, warn those around you. It saves a lot of apologizing later on.

kmkat said...

First of all, ditch that doc. Find a good obgyn, preferably a woman.

I had a hysterectomy @ 44 (fibroids) so I never went through the perimenopause, just the menopause, and thus have absolutely no advice beyond above. Good luck!

Cindy said...

I started at 35 so you are so not too young. What a strange thing for the doctor to say. Seriously? Everyone reacts differently, but to try something like Benadryl for the itching. As for the rest of it? Welcome, dear friend, to our little version of hell. I found out that it would be very easy for me to commit murder. I would have these horrible times of hate that would just pop out of nowhere. It's like going crazy, but then getting better. Cut yourself some slack. Also, I used some natural health aids that helped me. Hang on!!!!

Roxie said...

A friend swears by tofu and regular exercise. I took estrogen until they said it was linked to Alzheimers. I LIKED estrogen. I was cheery and stable and full of energy. Without it, I would start wondering if the paring knife was long enough to cut my throat efficiently. Not that I was sad or angry, just tempted to find out. Eventually I wound up on Prozac which has its own issues, but I no longer have to deal with the layer of grey felt over everything, and the thoughts of hurting myself.

Estrogen maintained the collagen. I looked 15 to20 years younger than my true age. Everything sags now, but I'd rather have that and keep my mind intact. My mind is my favorite plaything.

Feel free to e-mail and vent anytime. I UNDERSTAND!

Becky said...

I think all I can do is send you virtual hugs! And also tell you that your doctor is lame, you deserve better.

Stephanie said...

I am 33 and have started the "pre-menopausal" symptoms, foggy mind and hot flashes. So you aren't too young and I agree with finding a new doctor.

5elementknitr said...

acupuncture - most practitioners nowadays use Japanese made needles that are very thin and you don't feel them as much