Friday, March 14, 2014

Zen Teacher must Stay


And by stay I mean at home. Another way to discuss this is to ask the powers that be which is better; zen-like teacher remaining calm kind and compassionate for four days and needing the fifth one at home to recover, or a mindless quasi-drama-princess unpredictably and occasionally overreacting five days a week?

All week long I have been surprised and impressed with my own capacity for calm. As a rule, I believe that no matter the situation, calm should prevail. No actions, behaviors, situations, or consequences can be authentically analyzed and attended to without it.

Usually in the course of a given week, the practice of calm is undermined as early as lunchtime on Monday. This week, through what has to at least be due partly to cosmic intervention, (and maybe some Trader Joe's gummi vitamins) it remained.

Disrespectful, angry, button pushing, irresponsible children and adults were all welcomed into my hula hoop of calm. And whether or not it worked for them, it was certainly pleasant for me.

This morning I woke up at 3:00 am and knew the toll it had taken on my mind and body (the time change didn't help that situation.) and I logged on to request a sub for a sick day.

There is a natural guilt that comes with a mental health day. Usually it's more easily justified by an "I can't take this anymore" declaration of desperation. But I'm pretty sure this is the same thing and instead of using the day to stabilize, I've used it to recharge.

And maybe next week I can make it for five days.


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