This evening I told the paint joke to Aunt of Sophanne (who had not yet read the previous blog post)
Me: What's red and smells like blue paint?
AofS: Red paint.
Holy crack me up. She didn't think it was one bit funny.
Then I told her the green with wheels one and she laughed her a$$ off and said "now that's funny."
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The Great Escape
...that's what I'm calling knit night tonight. There's been a little whackadoodle in my life. No badness just some absurdity.
When faced with the crazy, it's best just to laugh. It's time for a mini-crack-me-up post.
Random crack me up number the one.
Imagine you are on a date (chickenchicken). It's not really a blind date. (chickenchicken) You've met the guy. (chickenchicken) But once you're out in the world you notice that instead of saying "yeah" (chickenchicken) or uh huh (chicken chicken) or "my meal is fine, thank you for asking" (chickenchicken) at appropriate moments your date says chickenchicken This guy has several redeeming qualities but as it turns out chickenchicken is indeed a deal breaker. Having heard that story from my favorite secretary (it's a true story) I really can't resist indulging in the random chickenchicken in my life.
Random crack me up number the B.
I can count on KnitnightJustine to make me laugh. But that's a lot of pressure so I don't tell her that and I quietly hope it happens.
Tonight she did not fail. She shared some gems from The anti joke page From their website
What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.
Such as (from the website)-
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
And one I wrote myself-
What's blue and smells like red paint? blue paint. I lied about the red.
They make no sense. Some of them are just wrong. Some are hysterical. I got to laugh tonight and that is always a good thing.
When faced with the crazy, it's best just to laugh. It's time for a mini-crack-me-up post.
Random crack me up number the one.
Imagine you are on a date (chickenchicken). It's not really a blind date. (chickenchicken) You've met the guy. (chickenchicken) But once you're out in the world you notice that instead of saying "yeah" (chickenchicken) or uh huh (chicken chicken) or "my meal is fine, thank you for asking" (chickenchicken) at appropriate moments your date says chickenchicken This guy has several redeeming qualities but as it turns out chickenchicken is indeed a deal breaker. Having heard that story from my favorite secretary (it's a true story) I really can't resist indulging in the random chickenchicken in my life.
Random crack me up number the B.
I can count on KnitnightJustine to make me laugh. But that's a lot of pressure so I don't tell her that and I quietly hope it happens.
Tonight she did not fail. She shared some gems from The anti joke page From their website
What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.
Such as (from the website)-
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
And one I wrote myself-
What's blue and smells like red paint? blue paint. I lied about the red.
They make no sense. Some of them are just wrong. Some are hysterical. I got to laugh tonight and that is always a good thing.
Monday, August 15, 2011
VRBO revisited.
Remember that VRBO from our recent vacation? Remember how we went three days without air conditioning in 90 degree weather? I know there are bigger problems in the world but in my little world on this little blog, when you save for a year for summer vacation and pay $400 a day for a beach rental that doesn't have what it says it's going to, it's plenty annoying.
Mr. Sophanne and I did not hold the big grudge after the airport recovery trip. We had a nice time, didn't mention the earlier difficulties, took care of the property as the guests that we were and left knowing that all that would have to be done for the next tenants would be some very light sweeping, mopping and tub/toilet cleaning.
No damage was incurred and we left everything as we found it.
Mr. Sophanne attempted to contact Bob Lieber, 331 40th St., Avalon, NJ (his real name and address) 5 times in the last week to finalize the contract, determine the status of the security deposit and move on.
After neglecting all phone calls, Mr. Lieber sent an email today that charged us $250 in cleaning costs. Even at a generous $15/hr that means 16 hours of cleaning which is absolutely absurd. In addition we were charged $15 for the "trash disposal" of the frozen unopened hot dogs that we didn't use that we left in the freezer for the next tenants. We were also charged $15 for using a plastic placemat that was in the pantry under the dog's water and food bowl (notably to protect the floor). He said we destroyed pantry shelf lining.
In fact, he let us know that according to him and pending the comcast bill, (to determine whether we ordered any movies in spite of us reassuring him that we didn't) we owe him $29.46.
Men are different than women. If Mr. Sophanne is angry at something like this he's m-f'ing up one wall and down the other at the asshatness of the guy. He says when he does it enough he wears himself out and it's out of his system. For me that only aggravates and stirs up my seething fury that has no real outlet. If vengeance can't be mine then I don't want to think about it. I plan on deleting any future emails (for some reason reading rather than hearing what he wrote makes me angrier) and letting Mr. Sophanne do or not do what he will.
However, I am not above asking my blog friends to aid in the expression of my anger. You are all such wonderful writers (I know-I read your blogs). Let's have an insult-fest in the comments (Bob Lieber is so slimey... or whatever other form suits your style best). Do me a favor and let him have it. I won't have so much mad if you make me laugh.
Mr. Sophanne and I did not hold the big grudge after the airport recovery trip. We had a nice time, didn't mention the earlier difficulties, took care of the property as the guests that we were and left knowing that all that would have to be done for the next tenants would be some very light sweeping, mopping and tub/toilet cleaning.
No damage was incurred and we left everything as we found it.
Mr. Sophanne attempted to contact Bob Lieber, 331 40th St., Avalon, NJ (his real name and address) 5 times in the last week to finalize the contract, determine the status of the security deposit and move on.
After neglecting all phone calls, Mr. Lieber sent an email today that charged us $250 in cleaning costs. Even at a generous $15/hr that means 16 hours of cleaning which is absolutely absurd. In addition we were charged $15 for the "trash disposal" of the frozen unopened hot dogs that we didn't use that we left in the freezer for the next tenants. We were also charged $15 for using a plastic placemat that was in the pantry under the dog's water and food bowl (notably to protect the floor). He said we destroyed pantry shelf lining.
In fact, he let us know that according to him and pending the comcast bill, (to determine whether we ordered any movies in spite of us reassuring him that we didn't) we owe him $29.46.
Men are different than women. If Mr. Sophanne is angry at something like this he's m-f'ing up one wall and down the other at the asshatness of the guy. He says when he does it enough he wears himself out and it's out of his system. For me that only aggravates and stirs up my seething fury that has no real outlet. If vengeance can't be mine then I don't want to think about it. I plan on deleting any future emails (for some reason reading rather than hearing what he wrote makes me angrier) and letting Mr. Sophanne do or not do what he will.
However, I am not above asking my blog friends to aid in the expression of my anger. You are all such wonderful writers (I know-I read your blogs). Let's have an insult-fest in the comments (Bob Lieber is so slimey... or whatever other form suits your style best). Do me a favor and let him have it. I won't have so much mad if you make me laugh.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Lincoln's Blog
Mr. Sophanne and I don't do the cell phone thing. We both work in rural areas that get spotty service at best. While we are both relatively intelligent people (proof- I remembered Harper Lee's name in a crossword puzzle today), we can't bring ourselves to negotiate the literacy level of cell phone contracts.
When we went on vacation we needed a phone. I'm a big fan of the trac phone- pre-pay, 800 minutes for the next year (some sort of special double your minutes offer) and fuhget about it until the next year. Little did I know at the time of purchase that trac phones now have cameras!
This weekend I found myself in Gettysburg, PA by way of Mountain Mama's house. While packing and getting ready to go it didn't occur to me to add the camera. Once there I realized what an error I had made. Fortunately I did have the cell phone.
We didn't have time (or honestly deep interest) in the actual historical sites of the city. Instead we opted for a quick walk through the touristy trap shops.
The anachronistic nature of this area was not lost on me. "Lincoln's Bus Lines" and the sign that said "This parking reserved for Horse Soldier patrons only" were two of my favorites. Also funny to me was the "word on the street" that Steven Spielberg had just been to the Dobbin House for research on a movie about Lincoln. I walked right past the hotel where Steven Spielberg saw where Abraham Lincoln slept!
Here is Mountain Mama Lincoln
Here I am peeking out of the Chaplain's quarters at a fake encampment.
And although I don't have a great interest in the details of American History (c'mon you know I'm not the only one), I do have a great respect for wise thoughts and wise words in dire times so I will try to class up this post a little bit by ending with the Gettysburg Address (as copied from Wikipedia). Some words indeed are timeless.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
When we went on vacation we needed a phone. I'm a big fan of the trac phone- pre-pay, 800 minutes for the next year (some sort of special double your minutes offer) and fuhget about it until the next year. Little did I know at the time of purchase that trac phones now have cameras!
This weekend I found myself in Gettysburg, PA by way of Mountain Mama's house. While packing and getting ready to go it didn't occur to me to add the camera. Once there I realized what an error I had made. Fortunately I did have the cell phone.
We didn't have time (or honestly deep interest) in the actual historical sites of the city. Instead we opted for a quick walk through the touristy trap shops.
The anachronistic nature of this area was not lost on me. "Lincoln's Bus Lines" and the sign that said "This parking reserved for Horse Soldier patrons only" were two of my favorites. Also funny to me was the "word on the street" that Steven Spielberg had just been to the Dobbin House for research on a movie about Lincoln. I walked right past the hotel where Steven Spielberg saw where Abraham Lincoln slept!
Here is Mountain Mama Lincoln
Here I am peeking out of the Chaplain's quarters at a fake encampment.
And although I don't have a great interest in the details of American History (c'mon you know I'm not the only one), I do have a great respect for wise thoughts and wise words in dire times so I will try to class up this post a little bit by ending with the Gettysburg Address (as copied from Wikipedia). Some words indeed are timeless.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, August 08, 2011
The Elusive Apple Annies
If you google Apple Annies, Pt. Marion, PA, you will find a restaurant that generally gets 4.5 out of 5 starts on all of the food critic pages. You won't find it on a map- it's in an alley right after the VFW and the only way I got there was going with someone I knew. Thus began this today's adventure.
I met up with the art teacher friend (who also has one of the cutest babies I've ever seen- see for yourself)
We were a little early for the 11:00 am meeting with others so we stopped at the WVU Dairy Farm- there we saw some cows.
Coincidentally, the Dairy Guy was the husband of one of the women we were to meet for lunch. He answered all questions "cow" and even ones we didn't ask. You probably already know this but the amount a cow milks is measured officially in pounds. The "heavy milkers" that you see in the last picture produce 115 pounds of milk a day which translates into 15 gallons!
The milk from the dairy farm goes to cheesemakers in Pittsburgh.
Apple Annie's met all expectations and in honor of the cows I had a three-cheese grilled panini. I also think I'll have some ice cream tonight. Thank you cows.
I met up with the art teacher friend (who also has one of the cutest babies I've ever seen- see for yourself)
He's teething, can you tell?
Cow Baby
Cow Mama to be
Cows saying "this is better than Apple Annies!"
Coincidentally, the Dairy Guy was the husband of one of the women we were to meet for lunch. He answered all questions "cow" and even ones we didn't ask. You probably already know this but the amount a cow milks is measured officially in pounds. The "heavy milkers" that you see in the last picture produce 115 pounds of milk a day which translates into 15 gallons!
The milk from the dairy farm goes to cheesemakers in Pittsburgh.
Apple Annie's met all expectations and in honor of the cows I had a three-cheese grilled panini. I also think I'll have some ice cream tonight. Thank you cows.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
How many (sung to the tune of Blowin' In the Wind)
socks must I knit for myself, before I can knit them for others?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind.
This is pair number four.
What do you do with your "dead soldier socks?" Or maybe you take good care of them and don't have any. Me? I wear the hell out of them all winter and usually have irreparable holes. I mean- the rest of the sock is good except for the hole part. What to do.
In other knitting news, Mr. Sophanne took his felted (wool) clogs to the beach and wore them regularly. I said "you know, those probably make your feet hotter than they want to be right now." He said "I like them."
That's right- you've heard it here first Mr. Sophanne has been wearing something I knit.
In other knitting news, how great would it be if I would knit a pair of felted clogs for all of the family that we were with these past two weeks (10 pairs). What a Christmas that would be. We know that I have more than enough Cascade to pull it off. Thankfully I was able to refrain from making that offer while anyone was listening. Maybe I'll save that project for my teacher friends. There aren't as many of them.
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind.
This is pair number four.
What do you do with your "dead soldier socks?" Or maybe you take good care of them and don't have any. Me? I wear the hell out of them all winter and usually have irreparable holes. I mean- the rest of the sock is good except for the hole part. What to do.
In other knitting news, Mr. Sophanne took his felted (wool) clogs to the beach and wore them regularly. I said "you know, those probably make your feet hotter than they want to be right now." He said "I like them."
That's right- you've heard it here first Mr. Sophanne has been wearing something I knit.
In other knitting news, how great would it be if I would knit a pair of felted clogs for all of the family that we were with these past two weeks (10 pairs). What a Christmas that would be. We know that I have more than enough Cascade to pull it off. Thankfully I was able to refrain from making that offer while anyone was listening. Maybe I'll save that project for my teacher friends. There aren't as many of them.
Saturday, August 06, 2011
and then
We saw the smurf movie and we went back to wildwood and Mr. Sophanne "won" a Papa Smurf if you can call $17 at the "Duck Pond" winning.
And my new favorite boardwalk treat is orange sherbet/vanilla swirl frozen custard from Kohr's Bros.
The end.
Home again and the garden is a jungle.
Marie (Red853 on Ravelry) took good care of plants and animal (cat) while we were away and took the guilt inducing spinning wheel off of my hands. Knitters are good people.
While we were away, my favorite dyer of wool, Stitchjones, decided to have herself a little yarn club-not a gang- called Yarnageddon I don't know how many slots she has but if you're a lemming, you might want to get in on this. I love love her colors. And I like her.
Blog friends are good. When vacationing became overwhelming I had blog posts from my friends to keep me grounded. They would show up in my reeder, I wouldn't have time or energy to comment and I would mark them as "unread" so that they would be there the next time I checked. I didn't read them again. I just liked having them there for moral support. I knew if I got wiggy and needed a "lifeline" and said so in my blog there would be an outpouring of support and ideas. So I just kept them there to carry along in my back pocket when the going got bumpy.
The week ahead is the last week of summer vacation. Teachers go back on the 15th. Kids return on the 18th. One thing I realized over the summer is that the lunchtime space of last year was unacceptable. Either the talker goes (by way of good scheduling) or I do- by way of finding somewhere else to eat. Life is too short to let other people make the days so long.
What a completely non-sequiter blog post. I'll work on organizing thoughts during this week. Then when Mr. Sophanne sees me sitting in the knitting chair watching Netflix and asks me what I'm doing I'll be able to say "Organizing my Thoughts."
And my new favorite boardwalk treat is orange sherbet/vanilla swirl frozen custard from Kohr's Bros.
The end.
Home again and the garden is a jungle.
Marie (Red853 on Ravelry) took good care of plants and animal (cat) while we were away and took the guilt inducing spinning wheel off of my hands. Knitters are good people.
While we were away, my favorite dyer of wool, Stitchjones, decided to have herself a little yarn club-not a gang- called Yarnageddon I don't know how many slots she has but if you're a lemming, you might want to get in on this. I love love her colors. And I like her.
Blog friends are good. When vacationing became overwhelming I had blog posts from my friends to keep me grounded. They would show up in my reeder, I wouldn't have time or energy to comment and I would mark them as "unread" so that they would be there the next time I checked. I didn't read them again. I just liked having them there for moral support. I knew if I got wiggy and needed a "lifeline" and said so in my blog there would be an outpouring of support and ideas. So I just kept them there to carry along in my back pocket when the going got bumpy.
The week ahead is the last week of summer vacation. Teachers go back on the 15th. Kids return on the 18th. One thing I realized over the summer is that the lunchtime space of last year was unacceptable. Either the talker goes (by way of good scheduling) or I do- by way of finding somewhere else to eat. Life is too short to let other people make the days so long.
What a completely non-sequiter blog post. I'll work on organizing thoughts during this week. Then when Mr. Sophanne sees me sitting in the knitting chair watching Netflix and asks me what I'm doing I'll be able to say "Organizing my Thoughts."
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Insane.
Last year at Wildwood, Levi was a little hesitant to get on rides.
This year Uncle Jerry got him to go on the giant swing.
and the fear barrier was broken.
(I'm working on getting this out there)
As can bee seen by this skycoaster video- the "Oh NO" and "Oh God" in the background is Mr. Sophanne which, in my opinion, make the video.
Meanwhile, Mr. Sophanne squeezed himself into a go kart-
The rest of the family took a whirl on some kind of ridiculous "we're stuck in a cage and swinging and going in circles ride"
and the little Lu stuck to what worked for her-
sometimes- in the right light, I think she's a ringer for Drew Barrymore.
I'd like to say I was the photographer but my camera was at home and all of these great shots were taken by the mama. Next time I'll realize that when Mr. Sophanne says "camera" it means he's observing it on the dresser and not picking it up and taking it with him. I did do what I liked best which was watch and cheer for the action.
This year Uncle Jerry got him to go on the giant swing.
and the fear barrier was broken.
(I'm working on getting this out there)
As can bee seen by this skycoaster video- the "Oh NO" and "Oh God" in the background is Mr. Sophanne which, in my opinion, make the video.
Meanwhile, Mr. Sophanne squeezed himself into a go kart-
The rest of the family took a whirl on some kind of ridiculous "we're stuck in a cage and swinging and going in circles ride"
and the little Lu stuck to what worked for her-
sometimes- in the right light, I think she's a ringer for Drew Barrymore.
I'd like to say I was the photographer but my camera was at home and all of these great shots were taken by the mama. Next time I'll realize that when Mr. Sophanne says "camera" it means he's observing it on the dresser and not picking it up and taking it with him. I did do what I liked best which was watch and cheer for the action.
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Vacation Activities Continue
at Pirate's Cove mini-golf,
looking at family photos with family,
bocci at a local park, 
and a trip to the Cape May County Zoo -many thanks for the reminder Becky from Flossy and Kate. We went there last year but were to late to go to the zoo part. It was great- such a beautiful place to walk through- even on a hot day.
There was a trip to Wildwood but I will save that for another post- leave it to say that Levi (bocci-boy) pictured above wow-ed us all by going on the Skycoaster with niece Kate! Video to follow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)