Did I say Stuff? I meant junk.

Or why it pays to hire someone to help you clean the attic.

Our first category of the day is-

Most Disgusting Find that Said Hired Help Threw Out Because I was Convulsing with Disgust.

One would think that the seven foot long snake skin would have won this category hands down. But alas, it's the five gallon water jug filled with pennies and rat carcasses for the win.

When first spotted from a distance I actually referred to this find as a win/win. Hired help could take a bonus in rolled pennies and I would use the jug as a drum in my classroom. Upon closer inspection (and can I just say that I have been blessed with someone who closer inspects much more quickly than I do) we found said twisted psychological experiment on rat curiosity. Maybe they were hiding from the snake.

 

In the category of Most Valuable Find (if you are a Star Trek geek who goes to conventions and are related to me.) is this-

 

Because of its condition (or lack thereof) and edition, it has no monetary value. Unless of course you are a regular attendee of the big Star Trek convention every year in Las Vegas. How cool will these two nieces look carrying THAT around?

 

Our next category is lovingly called "Varicose Vein Memorabilia"

 

This is a rather tattered and torn menu from Elby's Big Boy. Strawberry pie for $.50. Again, absolutey no monetary value but after sharing it on the Wheeling, WV Facebook page I've found that it means a lot to a handful of people. (75 likes and 20 comments- at last count- a personal record)

And finally my own personal Best In Show goes to this prize-

 

How, you might ask, could this dirty mismatched artifact become best in show? Plans, my friends, plans.

Picture if you will, the start of the school year. I'm sitting at the front of the room with my iPod touch sound effect on "traditional phone." It's hooked up to the Bluetooth speaker hiding near the phone. I push the button and make the phone ring. I point to a kid in the room and say "get that, would ya?" I've got to work on my poker face. Hilarity ensues.

If I can time it correctly I will also share this with my hapless but kind-hearted principal and more hapless but not so kind-hearted physed teacher.

Can anyone tell me why I think this is so funny?

I have also considered and imagined myself walking down the street with it in my hand and checking it the way "kids do these days."

And finally today's Good Samaritan Award goes to 17 yr old NeighborEthan who showed up just as we were slowing down and carried boxes and boxes of Reader's Digest Condensed Version Books collected over the past 40 years. Note to self and others- books are damn heavy. Magazines too.