Reason 71,221 of why I love juvieschool

 

I got there early to get to know the kids. One had finished his work and was keeping himself occupied by writing me a restaurant bill. He asked me what I had for breakfast. I said grapes and coffee and then I said I had pizza last night.

I saw him writing and assumed he was putting a price on it and didn't look closely. I said there was no way I could afford that and we decided that if I did a decent enough job teaching that I could pay it off in service-Score! He let me leave without paying.

It wasn't until I returned to my regular school that I noticed he charged me $1200 for raw teletubbies. I'm guessing that teletubbies are much like puffer fish and require specialized skills to prepare.

 

Wait, what?

Newsflash. There are things that exist that I don't know about. Who knew? Aunt's condition is fairly common in the elderly and called post-operative delirium. At least I know smart people who know the things I don't. Today she pulled out her IV's and needed a blood transfusion. It's just so bizarre.

Other newsflicker- it's not really a flash. When you work for someone compassionate but incompetent, it's easy to become an enabler for the sake of your own sanity. When you finally work for someone who does their job, isn't a whack job (like two bosses ago) and is well aware of and capable of learning what they don't know it can throw you off for a day or two. In a good way.

There was a Facebook meme about making kids feel great about the first day of school. I always start with school rules (be safe, responsible and respectful). I declared those (and the many ways of being that fit under their umbrellas) rules as the challenging ones we'll work on all year. And began to list and drum (with their suggestions) the "duh rules."

Don't crack an egg on your music teachers head. Don't bring an elephant to music class. Always wear clothes to music class. Don't eat the instruments. Don't feed your music teacher chicken feed.

The look on their faces as they got sparked out of the "oh this again" mindset was priceless.

 

Y Usted?

So I secretly wish I could write these daily stories as episodes of Days of Our Lives. Or better still, a telanovella. Maybe you could read with an accent in your head. Or maybe you could pretend all sentence endings alternated between question marks and exclamation points.

When last we visited the hospital...

Aunt's head was lolling back and forth in a stupor. The heavy meds have been halted but there is still unexplained stupor to diagnose. Possibly anesthesia that was slow to wear off, continued med reaction. They're doing tests. One frustrating bit is that the staff on the osteo floor doesn't have a sense of who she is when she's not sick in the way that the people on the telemetry floor did. To them, ranting old lady who can't feed herself is par for the course.

On the other hand, she was sure there were elephants behind her and when we finally left she kept pushing off the covers to join us to see the elephants. She also did not want to clean the pool at the lodge and laughed like she understood when I said greathusbandbob was not pregnant.

Goodhusbandbob told me that I sounded like I understood what she was talking about the whole time. I credit that with an amazing episode of NPR's This American Life in which they shared the story of an improv comedian talking in the now with his mother in law who was suffering from Alzheimer's. The moral of the story was meet them where they are and go where they take you.

Back at school...

My email-at least the parts about the potential grievances- was met with an email to all staff apologizing for rookie mistakes and thanking me (publicly) for heading her in the right direction. So. No more state policy is being violated but I've been informed that county policy says my scheduling assistance will no longer be needed and shouldn't have been employed in the first place. Which is sad. Because today I sat in a two hour meeting with four other people watching their brains catch up to the complications of the task- a learning curve I worked through around three years ago. It was like drowning in slow motion.

If you still have some sort of dramatic visualization going on in your head while reading, imagine (slow motion underwater if you want to go that far) an art teacher grabbing a discarded schedule out of the gym teachers hand because he kept referring to it to solve problems instead of the more recent schedule he was supposed to use.

In the category of self-care...

I feel like including this category is necessary mostly to remind myself that it's important.

Aunt's condition is such that I will be going back to hospital rather than to Zumba tomorrow night. I do have tennis shoes in the car and I may find a way to get my body active between school and hospital because.... Wait for it....not even kidding... My body says it feels like running and sweating. What the what???

My classroom is in the beginning of the year minimalist state that I love the best. I found some extra storage spaces and if I'm responsible (and pretend like I never did end of the day bus duty) I will be able to maintain a truly clutter free environment. At. School. I told the custodian and she laughed and laughed and laughed but perhaps she will rue the day.

Really? More?

So once upon a time aunt had pneumonia. She went to rehab to get stronger only to be sent back that day with too much fluid. She made an amazing recovery from what really looked dangerously close to the end. The Sunday night before going back to rehab, aides took her to the restroom and weighed her afterwards (at 3:00am). She fell and fractured her femur. Surgery was yesterday afternoon. As she is wont to say- except in Yiddish- if it's not cockroaches, it's pissants. She now seems to be over-medicated and all are in agreement that tomorrow it's Tylenol not oxy.

Once upon a time the puppy blew out her knee. We took her to a specialist and we liked him. More surprisingly, she liked him (although heavy sedation may have played a role-as may also be seen by the fact that she just pooped in the living room in front of us). Next Wednesday she's getting TTA surgery

Once upon a time there was a new principal. We were looking forward. When the back to school letter arrived there were zero grammatical or spelling errors. I offered scheduling assistance given my past experience but was not unhappy when it was declined. Then the schedule arrived and in an effort to fix one recurring problem the scheduler managed to violate two state laws. Normally I would remain silent. My schedule was within the legal limits.

Except all of my friends were unhappy and I wasn't sure if the scheduler knew there were violations. Today I sent a really positive email sharing faculty concerns. Everyone else seems worried about bad first impressions (or are just smarter than I.) I have received no response. But I feel good for getting it out there doing what I can. Either it will be resented, ignored or well-received and I don't even care. As greathusbandbob is wont to say if you're going to take a stand you have to be ready to face the consequences.

The air conditioning at school is not working. You may recall that I teach in a windowless room.

I will miss Friday's knit night field trip. I will miss knit night for a second week in a row next week because of open house. I've slept for about 5 hours a night for the last two nights. I did get to Zumba on Monday. My intentions are to go again on Thursday. But really if anyone breathes suspiciously in my direction I may collapse into a weeping puddle-y hot mess. It's right on the edge.

 

Just trying to ride the roller coaster without throwing up.

 

Care

In the category of self-care I have engaged in Zumba or YouTube Zumba-like activities for four days in a row. The classes are Monday and Thursday for an hour plus. I make it through about 15 minutes of the more challenging YouTube version. Today's big accomplishment was that I was able to bring my foot up to the back of my leg for a stretch.

In other self-care news I will celebrate the last weekday of summer vacation getting a mammogram. The fun goes straight to the last minute.

In the care of others category, aunt has been ping-ponging between hospital and rehab. Complications and med adjustments will hopefully bring her some stability.

Cousin and I have our weekly shopping adventure planned with an added trip to the local mini department store, Peebles and the store where everything is a dollar, the Dollar Store.

Greathusbandbob was successful in his power point adventure and I explored the Garage Band app to create some background ambience for his slide show.

I'm really struggling about the puppy. The idea of four weeks of caged rehab breaks my heart and almost feels like torture. The fact that she may face the same thing with the other knee is unbearable. Our vet consult is Tuesday. More will be revealed.

For now if I have to decide between boring blogging and more frequent blogging, I'm going with quantity. Maybe every now and then I'll have more on my mind than daily life.

Show and Tell

 

 

 

This cute is waiting for its brown and pink partner. I love the way fair isle feels in my hands when I do it with the correct tension. This one is close and I believe will improve with blocking.

 

The easiest item on the summer list has been attended to. The narcissist in me wants to give away all 200 on the first day and watch piles of kids going home with my picture stuck on them. I think they are hilarious and hope they have the predicted response of bringing joy.

 

Text reads "Thanks for being AWESOME!"

KnitnightGina had a wonderful surprise for me last night.

 

I couldn't resist keeping the milk bones in the picture

Being a Klutz book, all materials are included. Last night when I opened it I wanted to forgo the making of poms and just comb all of the yarn with that adorable comb.

 

Note the adorable cut out carrying case to the right.

The sad part of this gift is that I know at least four friends at knitnight who would be so much better than I at creating these pups but then I would miss the joy of the process.

And finally here are this morning's back to school gifs.

 

This afternoon's schedule includes sitting in the air conditioned room in our house and teaching greathusbandbob to create a power point presentation in the newest version. When he asked me if I knew how to do it I said yes. Then he asked me if I would teach him. And I said yes. Except when I say I know how to do something like that I generally mean I know how to figure it out. I do not mean I can seamlessly step by step him through it. I think I may go in and give myself a little tutorial now that I think about it.

Aunt is to be discharged from hospital today having finished all antibiotics. She will rehab for a few days to regain her strength. I will go there this evening with clothes and supplies.

 

Friends- a reflection

The kits for the monkey hats arrived. With properly loose tension I began fair isle knitting the adorableness. After 30 rows I noticed the pattern wasn't quite right. Consistently. I am about the farthest (furthest?) thing from a perfectionist that a person can get. If there were such a word I'm sure I'd be called a "that'll do-ist." Except I have a friend, knitnightGina who, though never judging, would never accept that in her own work. She inspires me to be better, to expect more, to allow the time necessary to fix a mistake. Friends like her make me proud of myself when, for at least that one moment, I do better than I think I can.

Then there's firstgradeteacherRobin. I don't get to see her much at school. We both keep busy doing our jobs. But I know how hard her life can be and she knows the ins and outs of mine. We have granted each other permission to text random gifs whenever we feel like it.

When I told her tacos for dinner

 

When she said she preferred burritos

 

We send them along when life is hard and when it's not hard. It's like a little poke asking '"is anybody out there?" And answering, "yea, you're cool." We cheer each other on, always offering to help, knowing that most often the best thing we can do is bear (bare? I'm second guessing myself today) witness to one another's lives.

SecretarySandy and I have gone the entire summer and spoken via text just twice. She's the at school, in the moment, "did I just say that out loud?", "I'll tell you at lunch," we crack each other up friend. A shared sensibility for the absurdity of life gives us everything we need to get through the days.

And then comes the knitnightamandaDrJustine kind of friend. We live in three vastly different worlds. We come together at knit night and share music, books, thoughts from our brains, stuffed knitted toy play dates, and all things whimsically ridiculous. This is where the laughing so hard you can't breathe happens. These meetings are sporadic given the way schedules coincide. But when the planets are aligned, a heavy weight is lifted.

Here at the end of the post is where, if I were a famous blogging philosopher finding meaning in life, I would have a profound, well-articulated observation on friendship.

I'm grateful for my friends.

 

Bookclub

With one week of summer vacation ahead of me, I've just finished the perfect book to sum up what was difficult about teaching last year.

In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by George K. Simon.

The Amazon synopsis reads:

Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons. Your children--especially teens--are expert at it, as is your mate. A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them.

It continues to share what this book offers.

George K Martin was a guest on an MSNBC news show were he was asked to speak about the personality characteristics of Donald Trump and was how I found this particular book. (I'm a sucker for guest authors but they often are the best way to decide what to read!)

While this book primarily deals with adult-adult interaction, there are a few examples of parent-child interaction. However in his conclusion, Simon writes,

Inpatient psychiatric facilities in this country are bursting at the seams with young persons exhibiting significant disturbances of character. Regardless of what psychiatric diagnosis they may be given upon admission, the majority of these youngsters are brought to these facilities because of their completely undisciplined aggressive behavior. (p. 167)

My understanding of the premise is that in the past we have attributed behaviors such as these to whatever fear and insecurity neuroses these children may have had. Sympathy, compassion and understanding the underlying causes is traditionally deemed the best defense in "curing" what ails them.

It would seem that all of this "understanding" has played right into the hands of the manipulative child who will deny, rationalize, defend, and divert any anti-social behavior for the sake of winning.

This isn't one of those "kids these days" rants. I have seen all of the behaviors Simon describes in children as young as 5 years old. As a compassionate non-covertly aggressive person, accepting the fact that there are manipulative children on the planet and that it can be learned at a very young age seems unfathomable to me.

Until, that is I look at his examples of the tactics those manipulators use and recognize them as what I was fighting last year.

Characteristics of this personality type include- Self-centered thinking, possessive thinking, extreme (all-or-none) thinking, egomaniacal thinking, shameless thinking, quick and easy thinking, and guiltless thinking.(pg.38-40)

He writes of the social factors that helps to create manipulative children include permissiveness, indulgence, abuse, neglect, and lack of accountability.(p100)

Being a society opposed to those factors does not prevent them from occurring. As a teacher who sees any given child 90 minutes a week, there is a minimal amount I can do to combat these behaviors.

At least now I recognize them. I can't fix their family issues, I can't change how they relate to all of society. But I can see them in action and rather than "cutting the kid a break" because of the life s/he comes from, I can feel better about calling out such behaviors and working harder to have students be accountable for what they say and do.

I have a friend who divorced a manipulative narcissist. From the outside it was easy for me to see and explain his patterns of behavior. It took a little while for her to see them for what they were. I feel like this book has given me the tools to see some of the discipline issues I've had for what they are and has given me another way of thinking about and helping those challenging kids.

Another day in...

Paradise? Maybe not so much.

Aunt is in hospital again. (I love the way the Brits say that.). More serious than the last. Stable now but a diagnosis of septic pneumonia and in need of a bipap machine to get her breathing properly.

Awesome husband took an Oxford house resident to what he thought would be a meeting with his attorney and law enforcement only to discover law enforcement had a bench warrant for said resident who was promptly escorted to jail. As such dear husband felt discouraged and tired from all that comes as a result of doing good deeds.

Lest it all be doom and gloom I'll share the knitting in the works. A former student teacher recently gave birth to a pair of boy/girl twins. First this little monkey for each. (found here on Ravelry)

 

To be accompanied by these adorable hats- (found here on Ravelry- with kits available at this website)

 

So pleased at how well the two separate patterns and designers made matching monkeys.

 

No more basketball

Heavily post-vet visit sedation.

Our sweet pup is going to have to give up her basketball career. I'm not sure what we'll do without the extra income.

She has a torn cranial cruciate ligament. Or the people version of a torn ACL. If we let it go, she will have pain and debilitating arthritis. She will also likely blow out her left rear leg.

Surgery means 6-8 weeks of no significant movement followed by two more months of cautious weight bearing walks.

To be honest I'm not sure which would make her more miserable.

It's times like these when Facebook is your friend. Especially when you wonder why you bother remaining friends with long ago acquaintances. Seems like you can always find someone in the "hive" who has been there done that.

One teacher friend has been through it all. A former student has a vet tech degree. Knowledge is power.

Teacher friend had a sobbing breakdown seeing her bébé post surgery. And she's a farm girl more used to the harder side of pet care taking. I'm sure to be a hot mess.

That she lacks opposable thumbs guarantees there will not be a photo of me in my post-vet sedation. Though you never know-with so much sedentary time on her hands and her basketball career over, she may start a blog of her own. I better keep checking my internet history for a search of doggie stylus'!

 

odds and ends... oddly ending

This shall be a post most random in nature. Hang on.

Item the One-  This is one of those toilet "protect a seat" dispensers.

In an effort to be more observant in my world I couldn't help but notice the brand (?)

Formerly Krystal?  Really?  After a brief search on the internet I've found that I'm not the only one to notice.  There are instagram, twitter and tumblr posts which include a similar picture.  Maybe the half toilet seat cover company is having an identity crisis and trying to "cling" (get it?) to the past.

Item the Two- The upcoming election.  I. Just. Can't.  The democratic convention and the fallout gave me some hope.  Otherwise the best thing I can say about it is that I now know which of my Republican friends would be most likely to join a cult.  Apparently I'm not the only one thinking this- 

as can be seen here.

Item the Three- Roads not travelled.  About 20 years ago I broke up with a boyfriend.  Shortly after, one of his acquaintances (not even really a good friend) asked me out.  Being in the thirties and still avoiding any possibility of conflict- (thank goodness those days are gone) I declined.  

As the years went by and as I was still struggling to figure out who I was and what I wanted, I would see him with his wife and two kids at the grocery store doing the family thing-  not really clinging but occasionally wondering about the road not taken.  Last week while visiting the Aunt, there he was, walking and talking with his mother (a resident).  Separate and parallel lives at least for that day.

With my life currently relatively well in hand I didn't have the same sense of regret I did during those more difficult days of self-discovery.  What I did realize (that I have been wondering most recently) is a sense of where the last 30 years have gone.  Having no children, I don't have what I would consider the typical signposts of life passing by.  Fifty seems impossible.  Without wanting to be cliche I am always asking myself "where has the time gone?"  That day I at least caught a glimpse.

And Item the Four a different take on health and well being.  Alternately titled "Isn't It Ironic."

The foot injury has left my summer exercise aspirations twisting in the wind.  It's hard to get 10,000 steps when the dr. prescribes rest, ice, compression and elevation.  The thrill of Zumba has turned into "the agony of deFEET"  (bwah ha ha!)

What occurred to me while trying to walk today is that in order to take care of your body you have to have a positive body image.  I so easily fall into the "what does it matter" during the sleep-eating chocolate chip cookie episodes.  It's hard to be positive when you're 100 pounds heavier than you really should be.  So the goal for the last two weeks of summer vacation is to walk when I can and at least consider a fondness of myself when reaching for that next treat.

Item the Last- My Facebook acquaintances who live in the Atlanta area have been posting back-to-school pictures of their kids (and I thought we started early.)  I have one more Sunday free of charge. August 14th begins the cycle of the Sundays of Doom.  That being said, the one thing that made Sundays the worst (putting my clean clothes away when there was no room) has been attended to so we may be able to maintain DEFCON 3 instead of 4.  

Maybe that lower status will allow for some blogging and adventures worthy of it when the rat race resumes.

Resolved and Pending and Stars

Human services recently (in April) sent me a letter telling me that my cousin was not qualified for extra psych group therapy (three days a week) because she collects too much social security. She collects that much social security because she has said psychological issues.

April and May were spent trying to resolve this through various government, independently contracted and county human service agencies. In fact, with all of the "answers" I got, this is the part of the story that could turn into a novel rather than a blog post. The final option and the way we stood before vacation was to completely start the reapplication process from the top and hope to get a waiver.

Until that point, the county offered emergency funding so that she could continue services. While on vacation I received an email from the director of the program asking to meet today.

Though not intentional, my resting bitch face was hard at work. I had dealt with so many beauraucrats giving me so many different and conflicting answers that I couldn't see how meeting at 10:00 am on a Wednesday morning would improve things.

Once in the meeting, the situation was again explained to me and the possibility of a waiver was ruled out based on the limited funds of the state and the high demand for requests.

As soon as that was established there was a "BUT..." She does qualify for "social group" as opposed to "psych group." Social group being a much more activity oriented group which is perfect and was the service I had hoped for originally.

I just have to wonder why oh why did it take four months and a face to face meeting for them to share this alternative with me? Every week she would ask me about it. In the meantime, the people who were supposed to be supporting her were telling her that she might not be able to come any more and also not offering up the possibility of the other group.

That is the conclusion of the resolved story.

The Pending part is all about the sweet Liza Jane. She is not putting any weight on her back right paw. Maybe it's sympathy pains. She figures if she walks like me I'll take her for a walk.

We have pain meds for a week and if it persists we will have to sedate her and/or put her under general anesthesia so that the vet can get an X-ray. The dogs who are ambivalent to the world have garnered a new respect from me.

This summer will be looked upon as the summer of reading. There was a conversation at knit night about a goal of reading a book a month. I've definitely hit that this year and am much happier for doing so. There are about three others that I'm partially through.

My star system-

1 star: I don't give one star. I put the book down if it's that bad. Life is too short to read boring books

2 stars: I finished it but it was a struggle.

3 stars: I finished it and might recommend it if the topic interests you to begin with.

4 stars: Time with this book was well-spent.

5 stars: Hurry! Quick! Go read this book and then we can talk about it!

 

 

 

 

Must. Read. All. The. Books.

 

Baby steps

As I mentioned earlier, the little room in the basement has some issues. At least three years of end of the year detritus.   It's very hot here and that room has no ventilation so any attending to it need be done in small bits.  In an effort to take baby steps, I grabbed a stack of papers and found some recipes to share.

When first beginning to clear out Aunts house- before realizing it required professional grade cleaner outers, I headed for the recipe counter.  She had many many cut out and saved recipes that I discarded but I saved the hand written, well-worn ones.  The main one I was looking for was this one-

Lemon Squares

1 c flour

½ c butter

¼ c sugar

bake 15 minutes at 350

2 eggs

2 tbsp lemon juice

1 c sugar

2 tbsp flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

sift powdered sugar when cool

bake at 350 20-25 minutes

recipe usually doubled for 9x13 pan

The entire list of saved recipes are in a dropbox file here.  They include:

Pumpkin Roll with frosting, Neiman Marcus' $250 cookies (I think I gave her that one), Nut rolls, Chocolate chocolate chip cookies, Quick lemon cookies. Zucchini Soup, Roll out butter cookies, Cake frosting, Large cake, Coffee cake, Strawberry Dessert. Strawberry Cream Pie, Chocolate Dream Square, World's Best baked apples, Brownies, Strudel, Pecan Pie bars, and cheesecake cookies.

The ones I remember clearly as absolutely delicious are the lemon squares, brownies, and strawberry pie.

Now they are on the interweb for eternity.  Or until drop box goes under. Also typing out recipes adds fewer calories than making and eating them, so there's that accomplishment today as well

What do you really want to do?

This summer I have finished 10 books. That wasn't on my list of goals but it's what I enjoy doing.

I also did some major de-cluttering. While cleaning was on the list, 23 bags of garbage was not.

Things on the list that I prepared before school was out that I have not done-

Spin Poi

Learn calligraphy

Make a fruit pizza

Play the ukulele and the guitar

Read Love in the time of cholera

Get Rosetta Stone and learn Spanish

Get stickers of myself giving a thumbs up to give to kids

Go to the zoo

Eat a giant ice cream at Sarris' candy

Creatively plant chicks and hens

Complete an ItunesU or Coursera class

Make waffles with banana pudding and strawberries

Update ios on all devices

I did make a visit to the courthouse and go to Zumba.

So, what's my dealio I wonder. Do I channel Chris Farley's man living in a van down by the river in May with "another one of those things I'm never going to do." Maybe I just need the list so that the thought of transitioning from school to summer isn't so overwhelming. Maybe I just like the idea of doing those things rather than actually doing them.

There are three weeks left. Plenty of time to do/try something new. I wonder if I will.

 

I also did not include laying in the air conditioned room with the dog under the blanket but I've done plenty of that!

 

An update on the topsy turvy

So after a visit to Medexpress, a short emotional meltdown tended to by the kind nurses there, and some resting time to lower my blood pressure from 168/110 my foot was x-rayed and not broken. I got some muscle relaxers and a great excuse to take it easy.

I spoke to Aunt this morning. They are still testing. People her age, and conditions such as this suggest another night of observation and evaluation so I'm going to let the phone take care of my taking care of her.

This morning husband bob fielded a call from the cousin. She fell and pulled a muscle in the back of her leg. Wants to go to have it looked at. I mentioned it while I was being checked they said there wasn't much they could do for her. We are sending over ibuprofen, a cane and dinner in an effort to avoid yet another visit to a medical establishment.

So after some muscle relaxer, some crying and some TLC I'm feeling ok again. The only looming worry was the job situation for next year.

It's like this. There is a school that serves mostly the children of university professionals. The building is seventy five years old and smells like that wax they used to use on wood floors back in the day. There is no place or space for teachers such as myself. I once got yelled at for parking my car. They are building a new bulding but have another nine months to completion. Normal people love this school. Smart kids-neighborhood school feeling. I hate it because it wreaks of entitlement, white privilege and disregard for what the arts can offer given the right atmosphere. (Wow- I've never really articulated the "whys" of my loathing for that place- seeing it in writing makes me feel less guilty.)

One summer I came home from vacation to find I was assigned there again after a ten year respite. I was sure that was what the most recent phone call was about. Instead, I came home to a letter from the assistant Superintndent that said I was assigned to Juvie Elementary school on Friday mornings! I love the teachers there, I love the kids there and honestly it won't be much different than some of the things I faced this year only help will already be in the room.

So maybe in a day or two it will finally feel like vacation with healthy relatives, a clean house and knowledge of stability in my job.

Thanks for bearing witness.

Of course

In the category of you never get more than you can handle...

Today was spent in the ER with Aunt.  Low oxygen-labored breathing.  Tests to follow.

Around 5:00 pm after being there for eight hours I suggested to the attending aides and nurse that part of her grumbliness might be due to the fact that she had not eaten for 24 hours.  Their response-"we all get angry sometimes." She had already singed some bridges before it got to that point.  I made sure to tell them it was for their benefit that I shared this information.

Before returning tomorrow I'll stop at Medexpress and have the 5th metatarsal x-rayed. It occurred to me to ask them to do it while I was waiting with her but didn't want to complicate things.

Dear husband took me to out to dinner in spite of the fact that he had two options that he had planned on cooking instead.  I just needed to be "away."

And at 1:09 am, I am still clearly operating on west coast time.

Le sigh.

And so reality returns

One of the biggest problems I was avoiding while on vacation was telling the aunt the news of her house. Mainly that everything in it has been removed and that there is a buyer for it. One reason this was a challenge is that in her mind, everything there is still exactly as it was before she left. She often refers to one thing or another and says "I know right where it is."

With that stressor weighing on my mind upon our return, another was added via an answering machine message from the assistant superintendent saying something to the effect "we appreciate your work at your current position, I need to talk to you about a change in your schedule." Having returned the call, I am waiting to hear back. In the meantime this has replaced the prior major stressor. Calls like this are generally never good news and while I have 30 years invested in the system,(20 at the current school) they can move me from school to school at their whim.

After dinner with my lovely cousin (and a double Don Patron tequila on the rocks) I made the call to the aunt. Turns out while I was gone, she and some galpals got the living center people to get them a bus to Christopher Banks where she made up for an entire two years of not going shopping. I told her about the house and its contents and she said "it's for the best and by the way...", proceeding then to tell me about the shopping trip.

Sometimes the world just works in your favor.

As for the other, I have spent the last five years in a significant leadership role in my current position. It has cost me more time and more stress than its been worth but I've mostly enjoyed the challenge. If, in fact, those circumstances change, it will be an opportunity to relinquish the being in charge of x, y and z as well as being a part of the team responding to "kids in crisis." (Formerly known as CPI training.) With thirty years in, I can find a way to teach music in any situation (remember that time I taught at juvieschool with kids climbing the furniture - maybe I left that part out) without carrying any drama home. So, while I'm not looking forward to what may come, fuck it. I've got this- it takes more than career upheaval to send me over the edge. At least today.

Innocuous

Nothing going on here. Unless of course you are looking for a photo analysis and the way I make annoying things funny sometimes.

What you see- two thumbs wrestling

What you don't see- they're in a restaurant, they're nearly horizontal (is that laying or lying?) on the bench, and they are covered with black spots made by sharpie markers because apparently when you do that and then place your phone camera directly on top of said mark, and snap a photo, you get the effect of one of those electric dog collars set on about 4.

What you see- empty plastic travel cup once containing Pepsi.

What you don't see- the other three large glasses ordered and consumed-leading to a frenzy of near epic proportions in which, in other circumstances, I would call for assistance. There was intervention after the first two hours but by then there was no relaxing for anyone.

What you see- that peach colored blob to the left of the fork is silly putty. Perhaps it was a keep the kids busy item from the restaurant.

What you didn't see- is that the silly putty was throughout the house throughout the week. Most notably stuck on the bathroom wall. It could also be spotted being tossed against the wall over tourist's heads across a busy sidewalk. If it came from a restaurant, it was long past its expiration date.

What you see-

An innocuous rest room at the site of a 9/11 memorial.
What you don't see-

Look a little closer...

Are the two missing from the group photo because they were on the roof of the innocuous restroom.
As parents might say "kids these days..."
As I say "WHAT THE WHAT????"

The boat

Then we were on a boat.

 

And a tube.

 

 

 

 

And they have something fun to remember.

 

RBF

Fish and house guests-three days.

Ben Franklin (edited for brevity)

There was a child at school last year that I didn't write about because that's not right. Behaviors included: demanding to be the center of attention, always. Antagonizing other kids (physically and verbally) for results. Repeating loud statements for the sake of hearing his own voice. Relentless requests for every whim that popped into his head. Also the sweetest kid in the room except for the unending annoyances. He was five.

Yesterday he reappeared. Except he is 14 and with me on vacation. I was tolerating it all with a "that's just -----, he's always like that." Until I made the connection and went immediately into RBF (resting bitch face). And now it seems to have stuck.

We're at fourteen in number and it would seem that my comfort level is with a solid ten. I am hibernating now to avoid the RBF reveal and to avoid a panic attack. Later in the day we are renting a boat that seats fourteen. I have to go. I may medicate.

Husbandbob took me out for a trip to the casino last night and a trip to the yarn store this morning.

 

 

 

If 409 yards of cashmere can't cure RBF then I'm pretty sure nothing will.